Yeah. Last post was whiny.
I have to let you in on a little secret. I am 99.99999% sure I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I won’t go into great detail about this. I haven’t been diagnosed. However, some of my behaviour clearly demonstrates symptoms. It doesn’t make life easy. It is easy to often feel like you are backpedalling… however…
One thing about BPD is overreacting. Severe overreaction to things that aren’t that big of a deal. I promoted a show and in the end, it didn’t work as well as I had hoped. In hindsight, I see all of the positives. New people saw the show, eight people danced (including a dog) and I sold a CD. All positive. So it wasn’t a bring-down-the-house bash. It wasn’t packed. Big deal.
What I like to do when a show doesn’t work is to perform again soon afterwards and make it KILLER! So, I played at this event last night and I just pulled out all the stops. I felt like my performer’s instinct was on overdrive. I was building up tension by playing something repetetive in the beginning… I did new acrobatic stretches as I played. I really pushed myself until, after seven songs, I was a sweaty mess.
And the crowd roared. It was a great success. I also shared the stage with some very talented musicians, including a rapper fresh from the UK, who had NEVER been on stage before and he just killed it. I was super impressed. Lexiticus or something. I will find out his name and let you know. Hell, we’ll probably do a show together. I’m a hip hopper at heart.